Still hopeful

Our meeting was cancelled for tonight, hopefully to be rescheduled. Both birthparents have to be on board with the plan and there are some mixed feelings there. Chris & I are still hopeful that they'll be able to work out their plan and that we'll be a part of it.

Thanks for praying...

A Momentous Occasion

In case anyone's checking - we're meeting with a birthmom on Monday night. Your prayers would be appreciated.

New house

Well, we've taken the big step and become prospective homeowners. Our offer was accepted last week, and we're wading through all the paperwork and procedures. If all goes well, we should close on October 19th. I can hardly believe how quickly things have gone, we really started looking the beginning of August.



Our new home is in Poynette, which is just a few minutes up the highway from DeForest, where we live now. We will still be in DeForest often, since I work here, and since our great church is here. Anyone who wants to join in our painting party, let us know!!





This is my beautiful new kitchen. I love the glass fronted cabinets. Not so crazy about the pink countertop, but I can live with it.










And our backyard. Not sure yet whether or not we'll keep the pond, with a hoped for little one running around, it may not be the best idea. Even so, isn't this a pretty backyard??















This is our front entrance. We hope to paint the trim and add a trellis with some climbing morning glories to the front. That should spruce things up a lot!!








And finally, the deck off the master bedroom. Yes that's right, we have a deck off of our bedroom...sweet, huh? I'm sure it will look much like this once we move in, as Chris' green thumb ensures plenty of plant life around our house. Eventually, this may become a screened in porch, but for now....we're content.





Stay tuned...God is working out some major stuff right now, and we'll update as we can.

Pictures

Just some pictures for your viewing pleasure - this was a picture taken at my parents house several Christmases ago (notice the reindeer antlers on Sadie's head). My dad found it on his computer, and we used it for the front page of our adoption profile.



This one is from our first Thanksgiving at our home in 2006. The Meixner/Sharpe clan came down to join us. My turkey turned out ok, although I left the bag of stuff inside. It still cooked ok! We loved having family here, but determined we need a bigger dining room and a bigger dining room table.









We joined some friends for a game night and they took this swell picture - it's nice when someone else takes the picture because we can both be in it!





This was from our 2nd or 3rd anniversary - I can't remember which. We decided to get really dressed up and go to a fancy restaurant - and quickly learned it wasn't worth it - too little food for too much money! I think we actually stopped for food on the way home. I guess we figured out when we want to go out for a nice dinner, Olive Garden is good enough for us!!


Don't know why I share these, other than there are some of you reading this who haven't seen us since our wedding - we haven't changed much, but it's nice to stay current. I have a few more gray hairs (nicely covered up in the pictures, of course!) and we're a few years older. But we're coming up on five years of marriage this December, and it makes me reflect on where we've been.

How have you spent your last five years? Have you made every moment count? Have you made wonderful memories? Have you reconciled with people? Or have you wasted time complaining and being bitter? Have you isolated yourself from those who love and care about you? Have you let the cares of life turn you in on yourself? The answer for me is all of the above, to some extent...hopefully more of the positive than the negative. We can only aim, we can't guarantee we'll hit the target every time. But at least aim! Don't let your problems become mountains ~ God is able to see you through. If you don't know Him, get to know Him before it's too late. You'll find He is all you need.

Talking about adoption

We had another class on Tuesday - this one was on child development and some of the stages children go through as they deal with adoption. We also discussed how to talk about their adoption with our kids, and with all of you.

Here is some positive adoption language vs. negative adoption language. We try to use the positive language when talking about adoption. I give you this list so that you can use positive language when speaking to others about adoption

Positive/Negative

Our child/Our adopted child

Birthparent/Real parent

Born to unmarried parents/Illegitimate
Terminate parental rights/Give up

Make an adoption plan/Give away
To parent/To keep
Parent/Adoptive parent
Search/Track down parents
Child placed for adoption/An unwanted child

Child with special needs/Handicapped child
Was adopted/Is adopted

Any questions, please ask - you only become more educated when you ask questions!

Financials

We applied for a grant through Shaohannah's Hope, and although I knew it was a long shot, we gathered all the paperwork and sent it back in May. I received word this week that we did not receive a grant from them. It's got to be a difficult decision, and I'm sure they receive hundreds of applications. I'm certain there are couples in greater financial need than us who are trying to adopt, and God knows where the money will come from.

I've jokingly said that I want my kids 4 years apart, because it will take that much time to raise the money to adopt again. Chris wants twins so it's "two for the price of one"! (He really wouldn' t mind twins, and I really do want them 4 years apart). While we joke about it, the reality is that domestic adoption is at least $14000, and international adoptions run about $20000. Granted, the IRS gives a nice tax credit, but not until after the fact. We were blessed by our families help in collecting the first major portion of fees, and are applying for a loan for the remainder. Not only are there agency fees, but attorney fees, court costs, and various miscellaneous things that will end up figuring into the total cost.

I'm so thankful for generous parents and grandparents. I'm thankful for steady jobs that give us a good income. I'm thankful for health insurance that covers almost everything. I'm thankful for lots of things. Most of all, I'm thankful that we can use our money in this way. What better thing to spend your money on...a child. One who needs a family, whose birthmom chose life.

All the questions they ask

Everyone's first question when they find out you're adopting is "From where?" I suppose that's pretty normal with all the international adoptions going on nowadays. I feel a little silly answering "from here", as though it's less noble somehow to be adopting domestically. Not that reactions are any different, people are always very excited for us....but I wonder if international adoptions are seen as heroic. None of the adoptive parents I've met want to be heroic, we just want to be parents. It's not about saving children from a desperate situation as much as it is bringing a child into our family to love and care for.

Frequently, some people (the really nosy ones) will inquire about why we don't have "our own" children. If I was able to simply not answer that question, I would, but I can't bring myself to walk away. It's a horrible, intrusive question to ask....even if I didn't take offense at the "own" children part. First of all, any children we have will be our own no matter how we acquire them. Secondly, our reasons for adopting are generally private. It's not something we advertise to the world, nor should we have to. The greatest answer to this question that I've seen is "why do you ask?" I hope to use that next time...and wait for the silence while the asker tries to figure out what to say.

Another question (from those who already know and love us) is "how's the wait going? Have you heard anything?" I love this question, but honestly, if we hear anything, you'll know...I'll be shouting from the rooftops!! As far as the wait, it's hard. It's just hard. Most of the time, I manage to go about life fairly normally and not think about it....but then I remember, my phone could ring right now with a call from the social worker....on the other hand, I could be two Christmases from now...still waiting. It's not like being pregnant, although I am an expectant momma....being pregnant gives you an end point...this does not...

God's plan is sovereign, His ways are just, His plans are for good, and His timing is perfect. I trust Him, now more than ever.