After much deliberation and prayer, Chris and I have decided to keep our home study and license open and apply for domestic infant adoption with our adoption agency. We had a taste of what it would be like to have 2 kids, and Josh was such a wonderful big brother. We really didn't feel like things were over and the door was still open.
So - with the remaining money in the account that was earmarked for Carolyn, and the refund from the unused attorney funds, we had exactly enough to pay the rest of the agency fees to become a "waiting family". What this means is our information, including pictures, is on file with the agency, and when expecting moms come to the agency to make an adoption plan, they may look at our profile and perhaps choose to meet us and have us parent their baby. It's the same process we went through with Josh. Lots of uncertainty, but we believe this is what God is calling us to do right now.
I am in the process of applying for adoption grants, as there is another large sum due upon placement of a child in our home, which could really be anywhere from now until 2 years from now. Adoption grants will help us gather that money together so we are ready when we need it. We are also working on our profile information which is what moms will see when they are looking to choose a family.
Please continue to pray for us - these are big decisions with long term effects. We want to do what God is calling us to and honor Him with our family and our lives. We still love and miss baby Carolyn - but are confident that God is holding her close.