Friday, July 27, 2007


We applied for a grant through Shaohannah's Hope, and although I knew it was a long shot, we gathered all the paperwork and sent it back in May. I received word this week that we did not receive a grant from them. It's got to be a difficult decision, and I'm sure they receive hundreds of applications. I'm certain there are couples in greater financial need than us who are trying to adopt, and God knows where the money will come from.

I've jokingly said that I want my kids 4 years apart, because it will take that much time to raise the money to adopt again. Chris wants twins so it's "two for the price of one"! (He really wouldn' t mind twins, and I really do want them 4 years apart). While we joke about it, the reality is that domestic adoption is at least $14000, and international adoptions run about $20000. Granted, the IRS gives a nice tax credit, but not until after the fact. We were blessed by our families help in collecting the first major portion of fees, and are applying for a loan for the remainder. Not only are there agency fees, but attorney fees, court costs, and various miscellaneous things that will end up figuring into the total cost.

I'm so thankful for generous parents and grandparents. I'm thankful for steady jobs that give us a good income. I'm thankful for health insurance that covers almost everything. I'm thankful for lots of things. Most of all, I'm thankful that we can use our money in this way. What better thing to spend your money on...a child. One who needs a family, whose birthmom chose life.

Friday, July 20, 2007

All the questions they ask

Everyone's first question when they find out you're adopting is "From where?" I suppose that's pretty normal with all the international adoptions going on nowadays. I feel a little silly answering "from here", as though it's less noble somehow to be adopting domestically. Not that reactions are any different, people are always very excited for us....but I wonder if international adoptions are seen as heroic. None of the adoptive parents I've met want to be heroic, we just want to be parents. It's not about saving children from a desperate situation as much as it is bringing a child into our family to love and care for.

Frequently, some people (the really nosy ones) will inquire about why we don't have "our own" children. If I was able to simply not answer that question, I would, but I can't bring myself to walk away. It's a horrible, intrusive question to ask....even if I didn't take offense at the "own" children part. First of all, any children we have will be our own no matter how we acquire them. Secondly, our reasons for adopting are generally private. It's not something we advertise to the world, nor should we have to. The greatest answer to this question that I've seen is "why do you ask?" I hope to use that next time...and wait for the silence while the asker tries to figure out what to say.

Another question (from those who already know and love us) is "how's the wait going? Have you heard anything?" I love this question, but honestly, if we hear anything, you'll know...I'll be shouting from the rooftops!! As far as the wait, it's hard. It's just hard. Most of the time, I manage to go about life fairly normally and not think about it....but then I remember, my phone could ring right now with a call from the social worker....on the other hand, I could be two Christmases from now...still waiting. It's not like being pregnant, although I am an expectant momma....being pregnant gives you an end point...this does not...

God's plan is sovereign, His ways are just, His plans are for good, and His timing is perfect. I trust Him, now more than ever.