Lilypie - Memorial

Josh

Friday, July 20, 2007

All the questions they ask

Everyone's first question when they find out you're adopting is "From where?" I suppose that's pretty normal with all the international adoptions going on nowadays. I feel a little silly answering "from here", as though it's less noble somehow to be adopting domestically. Not that reactions are any different, people are always very excited for us....but I wonder if international adoptions are seen as heroic. None of the adoptive parents I've met want to be heroic, we just want to be parents. It's not about saving children from a desperate situation as much as it is bringing a child into our family to love and care for.

Frequently, some people (the really nosy ones) will inquire about why we don't have "our own" children. If I was able to simply not answer that question, I would, but I can't bring myself to walk away. It's a horrible, intrusive question to ask....even if I didn't take offense at the "own" children part. First of all, any children we have will be our own no matter how we acquire them. Secondly, our reasons for adopting are generally private. It's not something we advertise to the world, nor should we have to. The greatest answer to this question that I've seen is "why do you ask?" I hope to use that next time...and wait for the silence while the asker tries to figure out what to say.

Another question (from those who already know and love us) is "how's the wait going? Have you heard anything?" I love this question, but honestly, if we hear anything, you'll know...I'll be shouting from the rooftops!! As far as the wait, it's hard. It's just hard. Most of the time, I manage to go about life fairly normally and not think about it....but then I remember, my phone could ring right now with a call from the social worker....on the other hand, I could be two Christmases from now...still waiting. It's not like being pregnant, although I am an expectant momma....being pregnant gives you an end point...this does not...

God's plan is sovereign, His ways are just, His plans are for good, and His timing is perfect. I trust Him, now more than ever.

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