I spoke with the resident doctor today. They did an MRI and are evidently concerned because Daniel doesn't have as many brain folds as they think he should have. They've run more tests and once the results are back, will be gathering a team of specialists to evaluate his test results and what should be done about them. It could be that he simply needs more time. The doctor said after 2 months they should see more, but I argue that he's only 35 weeks old...brain folds come with maturity and experience....it could be simply needing more. It also could be a fairly serious developmental disability, in which he would never really progress past infancy mentally.
Chris and I are trying really hard to be positive. Daniel's beautiful, he weighs 4 pounds now, he's started digesting his food better, his ventilator settings were lowered. This neurological issue is a big hurdle, but not bigger than God. My biggest concern, that is making my heart break, is I don't know if we can handle a severe developmental disability. What if we have to say no - we can't take him....after we've fallen in love with him...it's so hard.
We are praying for a miracle. I'm fasting this weekend to pray for OUR SON! No weapon formed against him shall prosper....we are more than conquerors...God knows every cell in his body and can make them whole and complete and astound doctors and nurses beyond the limits of their training. Will you please pray with us? Will you pray for our son, please? Pray that he is whole and healthy - I don't care if he's brilliant or athletic or handsome - but I do hope for him that he is free from pain and sickness and able to love and be loved and understand the beauty of life and family.
I want to visit him on Sunday and be filled with joy over the wonder of my beautiful boy, not sadness over what might be. Chris and I need strength and wisdom.